March 2010
7 posts
February 2010
22 posts
Ignore this post...
mdawgpolitics:
v=<script type=”text/javascript”> var gaJsHost = ((“https:” == document.location.protocol) ? “https://ssl.” : “http://www.”); document.write(unescape(“%3Cscript src=’” + gaJsHost + “google-analytics.com/ga.js’ type=’text/javascript’%3E%3C/script%3E”)); </script> <script type=”text/javascript”> try { var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker(“UA-7294838-2”);...
Bristol Palin to make acting debut →
apsies:
ABC announced Tuesday Palin will play herself on the ABC Family show “The Secret Life of the American Teenager. According to the network, Palin will play a friend of the show’s main character, Amy. The show has recently focused on how Amy reacts to an unexpected pregnancy.
“I am thrilled to be on this show and to be part of a program that educates teens and young adults about the...
I’m getting a guilty pleasure out of updating Ask a Troll. With 35 questions in the queue at this point, and a new question coming in every 1-2 hours, there’s still plenty to update. Plus the good reviews/compliments are always nice. :3
Whoo. This is fun.
Ask a Troll - a little side project. A bit more... →
Guns, Germs, and Stealing laughs
Narrator: Zebras are still flighty animals and for that reason are not suitable horse replacements.
Alex K: Dude, imagine if you rode a zebra into battle. It would be like DAMN!
Valerie: Or a giraffe!
Alex K: No, they could see you from too far away.
Valerie: But then you could see the whole battle!
Anubis, God of the Underworld.
You: Hello! Ask an Internet Tough Guy (ITG) anything.
Stranger: How do you get semen out of cat fur?
You: Shave the cat, then burn the fur.
You: Or burn the fur off the cat.
Stranger: Why burn it?
You: To get rid of the hair.
Stranger: Couldn't you must throw it away?
Stranger: *just
You: Alternately, you can run the cat through a sulfuric acid bath.
Stranger: That's just wrong.
You: Yeah, the burning's probably a better solution. :P
Stranger: Cats hate baths.
Stranger: Hahaha
You: Truth.
You: Well, I'm a dog person, anyway.
You: Not in the furry sense, of course.
Stranger: I have two.
Stranger: Wait, you're like anubis?
Stranger: You're a dog person. Holy shit
You: Yeah, I'm the god of the underworld.
You: AND YOU! SHALL! NOT! PASSSSSSSSSSSS
Stranger: What if I answer three questions
Stranger: Just don't ask about the swallows
You: Damn.
You: Fine, three other questions.
You: 1. What is your greatest fear?
Stranger: Dying alone.
You: WRONG! Your greatest fear is that you will never be loved.
Stranger: I've already been loved.
You: Damn, even my GOD-OF-THE-FUCKING-UNDERWORLD heart is melting. Awwwwwww.
Stranger: I tend to do that to people.
You: RIGHT! Your second chance at salvation!
You: What do you think of guys who drive ricers?
Stranger: Ricers?
You: http://img414.imageshack.us/img414/9222/ricer2gm.jpg
Stranger: What the fuck is a ricer
You: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=ricer
Stranger: Gay
Stranger: Unless I get to drive. Then, forgiven.
You: WRONG! They're just lame overall.
You: ALL RIGHT, YOUR LAST CHANCE AT SALVATION
Stranger: DUN DUN DUN
You: CUE BEETHOVEN'S FIFTH
Stranger: I prefer moonlight sonata
You: Pathetique fan myself.
You: Even the god of the underworld listens to Beethoven.
You: ALL RIGHT.
You: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
Stranger: A woodchuck could chuck a fuck load.
You: QUITE RIGHT.
Stranger: -bows- You're welcome.
You: Looks like you get to pass into THE FUCKING UNDERWORLD.
You: IN OTHER WORDS, HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
Stranger: FUCK YES
You: Nuh uh.
You: In hell, you have to listen to Taylor Swift on loop.
Stranger: That's where all of my friends and the drugs will be.
Stranger: Yeah but if I get stoned enough I'll never notice.
You: But we believe in free choice here in hell, so you can choose between Taylor Swift and Black Eyed Peas.
Stranger: BEP.
Stranger: The old BEP
Stranger: not new.
You: Hell no, fuck BEP.
Stranger: They have one song I like.
You: Anubis isn't a big fan of hip-hop.
Stranger: But personally, I'm more of a rolling stones animals doors
You: All right, fine, I'll give you "Pump It"
Stranger: kinda girl
Stranger: NOOOOO
You: PUMP IT.
You: ON LOOP.
You: WHAT NOW. WHAT. NOW.
Stranger: FUCK
You: Also, if you're a girl, why would having semen in cat fur be a problem?
Stranger: It seemed like an interesting question.
You: Can't argue with that logic.
You: It's actually a good question.
Stranger: I thought so as well.
You: Probably use some sort of detergent. Is semen nonpolar?
Stranger: I couldn't tell you.
You: Hahaha.
You: OR MAYBE YOU COULD
You: BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO ADMIT IT.
Stranger: I'm not a big fan of semen.
You: Ah, you prefer the landlubber kind?
Stranger: We don't get along.
Stranger: I do indeed
January 2010
37 posts
Stranger: Dammit, this is exactly what those PSAs warn girls like me about.
Stranger: You think you're chatting to a nice Californian boy..
Stranger: Suddenly it's motherfuckin' Cthulhu.
You: What is love?
Stranger: i'm still trying to figure it out.
Stranger: but i think it's when your life is at its worst, but it doesn't really matter; because of that one person you love.
You: What if they don't love you? What if it's just a chemical reaction, which apparently babies like to use to hurt people?
Stranger: are you a girl? you sound like one XD
Baby don't hurt me
You: What is love?
Stranger: baby dont hurt me
Stranger: dont hurt me
Stranger: come on...
You: no more.
Stranger: ba ba baba buh ba ba ba ba
You: ohhhhhhohhhhh ohhhhh ohhhhhhhhh
Stranger: what is love?
You: baby don't hurt me..
You: don't hurt me
You: no more.
Stranger: lol didnt know this song was a duet
You: It is now.
Stranger: good music :D
You: Damn right.
Stranger: i like your style :D
“God’s inhumanity to man makes countless thousands mourn.”
– Mark Twain
“Wasteland” by 10 Years. (t61»)
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
You: You're on a rock floating through space. How does that make you feel?
Stranger: hey
Stranger: how about this
Stranger: its not floating
Stranger: its fucking hurtling
You: That's true.
Stranger: ever think about how fast we are going
Stranger: or even better
Stranger: how fast we are spinning around the axis?
You: And flying around the axis of rotation at a thousand miles an hour.
You: Crazy shit, brother.
Stranger: its pretty easy with some math
You: Yeah.
Stranger: one sec
Stranger: what latitude you at
You: 37, I think.
Stranger: alright then
You: 37, -101
You: Yeah, I know, take the cos(37º)
Stranger: radius of earth*cos(37
Stranger: )
You: yeah.
Stranger: etc
Stranger: alright bro
You: Whatever, I'm not going to do that now.
Stranger: me neither
Stranger: fuck opening a new tab
You: of Omegle?
Stranger: no
Stranger: of google
Stranger: to calculate
You: :P
You: Wolfram Alpha would do it well
Stranger: haha yeah true
Stranger: well not any better bro
Stranger: i mean its basic math
You: I guess.
Stranger: not fun stuff like integrals
Stranger: 794.159062 mi/h
Stranger: I lied
Stranger: i did open a new tab
You: pahahaha
You: http://www.wolframalpha.com/input/?i=%282*pi*%28radius+of+earth+*+cos%2837+degrees%29%29%2F24+hours%29
Stranger: so speed of earth: whats in relative to
You: That's a bit tricker.
You: trickier*
You: It's an ellipse
You: and I don't know the eccentricity of earth's orbit
You: Hmm, my calculations say 828mph
Stranger: i see that
Stranger: well what i mean
You: teehee
Stranger: is
Stranger: the earth is revolving around the sun
Stranger: true?
You: Yeah.
Stranger: false
You: Well
You: sort of.
Stranger: ask the church circe 1500s
Stranger: circa*
You: haha
Stranger: anyway true
Stranger: alright
Stranger: BUT
You: Well, technically the sun's at a focus of the earth's orbit
You: :P
Stranger: the solar system is ALSO moving
You: Around the center of the galaxy, yes.
Stranger: WHICH IS ALSO MOVING
You: towards Andromeda
You: holy shit.
Stranger: how fast are we really going
You: Well, doesn't it vary through the day?
Stranger: and realtive to what
Stranger: universe has no center
Stranger: yeah of course
You: Well, technically you can put the center of the universe wherever you feel like it.
Stranger: well
Stranger: i mean
Stranger: its me
You: We are nerds.
Stranger: center of the universe is right here, baby
Stranger: yeah well
Stranger: better than asl
You: I guess.
You: or "u horny?"
Stranger: well the answer is obviously yes
Stranger: after all this math
You: Damn, man, me too.
Stranger: Are You Horny ? I Am
You: Better watch your back, man.
You: Lots of poachers about.
You: I hear horns fetch a good price on the black market.
Stranger: uhmm... can you tell me something dirty so I can masterbate to it?
You: MUD SOIL HUMUS FECES VOMIT
Stranger: Can you now tell me something sexual so I can masterbate to it?
You: See this hypodermic needle? It's ENTERING YOU, IT'S PENETRATING YOU.
Stranger: u suck at being sexual
Love on the internet
Stranger: You love me.
Stranger: It's okay.
Stranger: It happens all the time.
You: You're, uh, four years older than me. -_-
Stranger: I know it's hard.
You: That's what she said.
Stranger: I love you too.
I now have Dantean proof that Cross Country is the...
notimeouts:
colinh:
In Dante’s inferno, the sodomites’ punishment is to run across a flaming desert for all eternity. Welcome to what is perhaps the origin of Cross Country.
hahahahahahahaha
sorry
I love XC
that’s why this is funny
What will they think of next?
Stranger: okay i found a girl lol
You: XD
Stranger: hahaha
Stranger: she wants to go camming
You: oh god
You: OH GOD
You: IT'S THAT ONE
You: if she directs you to omeglecam.notlong.com or something like that
You: it's a cleverbot-based spambot
You: XD
Stranger: haha
Stranger: okay
You: Not joking man.
You: They do this now.
You: :/
Stranger: Stranger: okay, go to http://omeglecam.notlong.com, its like omegle but with webcams ;), just accept my chat invite on the left hand side i think, its all free
Stranger: lmfao
You: CALLED IT. >:D
Google's new approach to China →
(via loafaries)